5 Ways to Stop the Flies Ruining Your Life

By Eric Cunha

There’s a bar to rival the Ministry of Sound and artwork that can rival the Tate (seriously Stanley Picker > Louvre) but there are still times when living on Knights Park has its drawbacks. Well, specifically one, the flies. It’s impossible to walk through the bridge without dodging a swarm and it’s hard to imagine enjoying a Cornetto without aimlessly attempting to swat away one of those opportunists.

Your friends at Knights Park Press spoke know you find the flies particularly annoying so we spoke to Jon Fahy, a postgraduate entomology (he studies insects) student at Harper Adams University and he gave us a few words of advice on how to make sure those insects do not ruin your drink at the terrace. We’ve conveniently highlighted his advice in red so if you just want to read that and ignore the rest of this diatribe, we will not blame you in the slightest.

#1

Stay away from the river. “The type of fly that is probably most common in the area is the black fly which tends to be found near a river or a stream.” Fahy tells us. The Hogsmill is to blame. Stay away from there. Avoid drinking at the Knights Park bar. Do not under any circumstances congregate around the terrace. Avoid your halls at all costs. Skip lectures, study in Penrhyn, maybe drop out of university altogether but just stay away from the river for goodness sake.

IMG_9135

The Hogsmill is to blame, avoid at all costs.

#2

“Black flies usually prefer daylight.” So if you do not particularly feel like taking our advice and avoiding the river altogether, just do night time visits. Be nocturnal, avoid day drinking.

#3

“Some species of black flies bite.” Wear hundreds, and if possible, thousands of layers of clothes. Helmets included. They’d need one heck of a bite to get anywhere near your skin that way. Also, see #1 and #2, also relevant here.

#4

“There’s probably lots of fruit flies around too, avoid sugary, sweet and fruity drinks and snacks.” Avoid Strongbow Dark Fruits, maybe Snakebites too. If you desperately need white wine, make it dry. Under no circumstance should you order a glass of red. #1 is also relevant here.

#5

Just embrace it. No expertise from Fahy here, so there should not be any red. Just some Knights Park Press editorial sentimentality which I could not resist but highlight in red too. You’ll miss those pests when you graduate. Every time you see a fly, the nostalgia of afternoons under the sun on the terrace after getting a pint of Kronenburg on a plastic cup will hit you. The flies are just as important to the Knights Park ecosystem as a fashion student pulling off double denim, or a graphics student walking around with a huge A3-sized drawing pad. The flies of Knights Park are an institution, and if you can deal with them for three years, you’re ready for anything that real world throws at you.

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